Hope rides a Slow Train to Hell in Small towns

by Regis Boff

“Without celebrity, Democracy cannot long survive”; Oscar Wilde.

Our last election cycle was a snore. What good is the cultivation of a lazy lack of resistance to shiny objects, like celebrities, if our village conjures up for us were four ordinary men, without a movie or TV deal between them to vote for. Do we realize the herniating energies our local political war machines expended trying to convince us this election had national implications without the crutch of a movie star spokesperson? Shame on us!

I find it out of the question not to believe everything that George Clooney says. This is because I am in love with him and this is what love does to you.  If you find something of paramount stupidity, and you put it in his mouth. I will believe it. It is his due.

I have an unusual allegiance to tiny politeness. For instances, I have been opening doors for women for half a century, even during that dazed period when it enraged them. I still say, “Yes and no ma’am and sir,” and I give my seat up when helpful.  Political correctness says to me that courtesy is not enough for me to contribute and I must give up more because of the assaults of my ancestors. I am just not really going to do this, ( although I pretend that I will, to make the celebrities happy). Everyone is going to have to settle for politeness from me.

Famous and desirable people are mostly agents of the devil. I am not saying that God’s team is dreary but let’s face it; Hell is the place full of mirrors, not Heaven.

I am old enough to see that there are more suspicion in America at present than when I grew up. Mistrust is the industry of today’s celebrity politics. They keep alive the sagas of polarity and grievances. I am weary of hearing about the differences between people. Let me, let you, in on a secret, we are all the same. If you don’t believe this, try to imagine the one thing a celebrity would not want you to believe.

I am reconsidering our Mayor and Trustees. Unscripted common sense, delivered in understandable complete sentences (without makeup,) might be just right for a place like Irvington. At least until Angelina Jolie is available to run, then, trust me, they are out.