Retirement for Greek Hairdressers

by Regis Boff

The Greeks can retire with pensions at the age of 55. There are certain exceptions to this, the most endearing being the one for hairdressers,( because they handle hazardous materials,) which is even lower, at age fifty. Until the late 1800s, there was no such thing as retirement, ( my research seems to indicate that it was invented by the Germans,) I might revisit this irony later, when I can stop laughing.

Historically, unless you lived under capitalism, it was the family’s responsibility to handle it’s own aged. Occasionally, particularly in the East, elderly men were kicked upstairs to become wise men.This never grew to entitlement status, however.

Retirement only happens in Democracies because really stupid ideas can only gain traction when the momentum of large numbers of simpleminded people can get behind them. Politicians herd these greedy halfwits into a voting block and gleefully they sow the seeds for their own catastrophes fifty or sixty years down the line. There are countless examples of this behavior available on close inspection today. Welfare, for instance, was based on the notion that we get people on their feet with a little money and very soon, off, they will go, like wind up toys, generating healthy, happy communities.  Of course, the nova of shortsighted ideas, was Social Security. For this brainchild to work mathematically, America’s birth rate would have had to exceed China’s in the last forty years ( and that would have been without throwing female children in rivers.)  The list really does go on and on and only stops when you get to one that benefits you.

If we prohibit people from retiring, the Germans will not have to buy out the continent giving them their first win in Europe since they beat up some Romans. Greek hairdressers could reapply their big hair talents to streetwalking, and the bankruptcies would stop because old people would help establish a new tax base given they are the only ones who remember working.

If old people were forced to work they would be too busy to continuously test themselves for incurable diseases at vast national expense. Which is also something that drives me to the bars. Why do we test for ailments we can’t cure? There are illegal children in this country who can’t get free medical treatment because our hospitals are filled with old people being given news, they can do nothing with.