The Coming Influx of Dead Believers

by Regis Boff

Things are settling in nicely now that Mr. Obama’s handwritten invitations have finally been sent out to every Spanish speaking person south of Des Moines to come live with us. The crucial suites of animosities are nearly in place for the eagerly anticipated, “Religious World Cup” in twenty years or so.
Allah and Christ have been training for this one for over two thousand years and each side is loudly bellyaching about all the delays. Can we really blame them folks? After all the “One True God” trophy is in the balance.
We are very motivated over here in the Western Hemisphere now that the North, Central, and South Americas are just a few decades away from being completely Spanish speaking and much more importantly devotedly Catholic.
Heaven is letting out its trousers for the influx of dead believers. Allah’s followers have already begun blowing themselves up with their characteristic bad timing. Germany has moved it’s agnostics to Iceland and the Democrats and their media are rushing into Manitoba, Canada trying to unionize the moose while consolidating their final arguments on global warming. This is going to be great!