Rock Accountant

Month: December, 2014

The Carelessness of Young Girls

I am an especially suspicious person. I suppose this stems from my early discovery that automobiles were constructed to fail around the same time or what is called “planned obsolescence.” It made it easier for the car salesman to make money on a more predictable schedule.
As I sat fuming over my daughter’s destruction of a second IPhone 6 this month, it occurred to me that Apple’s manufacturing scheme somehow now predicts the carelessness of young girls.
I suspect we grow old and die at precisely the right speed as well. Even God has to make his

The Serpent

Al Sharpton is hiding behind a bush on the edge of a deep river. He watches a starving child readying herself to swim across because she hopes there is food is on the other side.
Al Sharpton can’t swim; he never had to learn, so his arms and legs disappeared, and he found it easier to be a snake.
He says to the little girl from his safe hiding place, “Can I ride on your back to the other side of the river? I am hungry just like you and I can show you the way.”
“No,” she says,” If I let you ride you might bite me, and I will never get to the other side.” “Besides I know the way myself.”
Al hisses, ” But I know where all the food is, and the people with the food are my friends, and they will never give you any without me.”
The child thinks on this and agrees.
When they reach the middle of the river Al Sharpton bites into the neck of the girl. She screams,” Why would you do this to me?” ” We will both die now.”
Al whispers proudly in her ear, because I am the serpent.”

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Unless you are kind, every closed door is suspect.

Wisdom is Disappointing

Wisdom is disappointing, by the time you get it, you have no use for it.


A Time to Be Gay

The world would be far better off if everyone was gay.
When I grew up I was afraid of nuclear war and now I bet you could not find a child that has had a nuclear nightmare in the last twenty-five years. Some would say this is progress. Maybe, but it is a little lackluster as well.
I suppose global warming or “colding” (I nearly always forget which we are most afraid of) is the flavor terror of today’s child or maybe it is “fracking, “ that has a scary name. Certainly bullying when it occurs is scary. I missed how bullying became a group activity though. We used to experience that individually.
We all reckoned in the fifties and sixties that overpopulation would get us. I still do. But nobody talks about that anymore either I guess it has been concluded that bearing too many children would be more difficult to stop than changing global atmospherics, go figure.
Personally, I can’t think of a problem that would not be fixed if we were all gay. I am sure some actors would complain that they no longer would have anything to hide and the “left” would loose a signature issue certainly, but then again there would be a whole lot of morons who would have no one to beat up.
Some of our greatest minds have contended that with the right kind of training a gay person can be made straight again. If that were the case then making everyone gay should be a walk in the park and as a bonus, we would save the planet.


Living Forever

Art is not something you do to live forever. It is merely about living at all.

Best Dressed Generosity

Quietly clandestine generosity does get you into heaven. Attention grabbing displays of sensitivity and sympathy are for FaceBook, movie stars and Congress.

My Dog Pluto and God

UnknownI have to confess that I believe in little, and in this, I have much in common with my dog, Pluto.
Pluto, though devoted, finds me unremarkable because of my persistent misunderstanding of his needs, which are few yet firm. He spends his day sitting around sending dog thought telegrams about what he wants. To him I am, except on the predictable occasion, blind, deaf, and dumber than he.
Of course, this means that he is to me, what I am to God. In fact, my record makes me look like Peyton Manning when balanced against the All-Great and Powerful.

via Grammarly.

Someone Who Anticipates Accurately

Life is like fine photography; it is rare to find someone who anticipates accurately the final beauty of the picture before he holds the negative.


via Grammarly.

Every Morning

Every morning
We open our eyes
and say
Let there be light

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