The Universe is in Big Trouble.

by Regis Boff

It is uncommon to think of your father as a liar. This relationship, by its nature, rarely gets so twisted that this kind of trick pops up as a solution. However, there are times when a parent will concoct if they get cornered. My dad would do this with a resourceful and beautiful ingenuity.
The high deceits, such as those found in fine literature, are the stuff of spiraling human downfall. The diminutive lies, like the ” Oh my, don’t you look pretty today,” are hardly more than protective kindnesses. I am not describing those. A grew up regularly experiencing a more nuanced application of lying.
My father used the cloudy middle ground of deception often and adeptly. He would invent a backdrop scenery so opulent to prove his point, that the truth became a distant issue.
For instance, there is a theorem in physics that contends that all things gradually decline into disorder. It is called,”entropy.” Dad invented this. He employed it in such a way that when combined with hitting me on the head it would inspire me to turn off lights when I left a room. ” Every light bulb has only so many on and offs,” he would threaten. This lesson had the sorry effect of saving him a few pennies while I lived at home. It did, however, foment in me, a lifetime of nervous glances skyward expecting the universe to run suddenly out of light.
Another example of convenient but creative deception from my father I think surprised even him. Growing up we had a lot of dogs. They would disappear, (usually hit by cars,) with such a regularity that we all would sniff our dinner meat if one were absent at dinner time.
When I was six or seven, I came home from school to find my father crying at the kitchen table. Our current most loved dog was dead, run over in front of our house by some teenager. The kid had just moments before brought the dog to the door.
My father, trying to shield me from seeing the yet disposed of wreck of the animal, lied to me. He said, “Sometimes when a dog knows it is going to die it will go off into the woods to bury itself. Of course, I believed him, still do.
I am currently trying to use my father’s entropy lie to encourage my son to forestall the end of the universe by turning off lights. The universe is in big trouble.