Keith Moon demands, “We must find those infected girls”

by Regis Boff

Keith Moon, the drummer for The Who, declared gravely, “We must retrace the first half of the tour to find those infected girls.”

It was a tough piece of news to digest with  breakfast at three o’clock in the afternoon. He had contracted a particularly nasty dose of Vietnamese gonorrhea. Now in any wholesome world, one would simply call the girl and head together to the doctor, problem solved. In Moon’s cosmos, it became an exercise in how to best control a forty city-wide venereal pandemic.

The headwaters of any infection are always difficult to pinpoint. Keith saw this puzzle as an opportunity and spent the remainder of his afternoon gleefully building a majestic flow chart that connected nearly everyone on the tour with at least one girl he had passed along.

Innocent people were caught up in Moon’s net that day.  Moon did have talent for broad mischief. But it was so much fun that nobody moved to dissuade him. Least of all, the doctor who was pocketing thousands from running back and forth to the hotel with his syringe in hand.