Rock Accountant

Month: May, 2015

The Ones Left Laughing

It will become painfully apparent that if the only humor allowed pertains to successful white men, these men will be the only ones laughing.

Comedy as Policy

I will accept any Democrat except Hillary Clinton. I say this even though I know that Republican solutions, in many instances are the right ones. We, Democrats, are clever, and we make successful fun of those who disagree with us, but comedy is not policy. Unless we give up some of the power we wield, there are certain crises that will never be solved. Black people are being crippled by what we do to protect ourselves. They support us seamlessly because of the help we have offered in the past and because we have made them terrified of the Republicans. It is we who are the most dangerous to them.

All The Clues You Need

It is not so unsimple to know why men fear you. If you are in a closet, a confessional or in a corset, you have all the clues you need.

Those Thieving Democrats

The Democrats have stolen the only element of Christianity that ever mattered, “Love thy neighbor as thyself,” and the Republicans are too stubborn to admit they can’t remember where they put it.

use thief

But I want to Get it Right

 I am finalizing the order of, kale, Hillary Clinton, and plastic shrink wrapped razor blades. Perhaps my wearily pushing for some ascending or descending sequence appears misguided, but I want to get it right.

kale razor hillary






The Corner of my Bed

The bit of God that returned with me, after I nearly died, is sitting on the corner of my bed arguing with my dog. My name has not come up.

The Devil Was Sent to Hell

The Devil was sent to Hell because he published the private prayers we sent to God, making it obvious that God wasn’t listening.
Edward Snowden is in prison because he released  secret documents to the world, making it apparent that the government listened to everything.

This Nice?

The real question is whether today’s liberals would exist at all without Christianity. Do they really believe they were born as nice as they think they are?

Bad Winds Blowing Toward Canada

We all could agree that our variety of living being is slumping, particularly in the United States and we, of course, represent the world of flesh at it’s best.
America has not managed the enthusiasm to ignite a significant war in nearly sixty years. It is almost as though we are ill. We are even, perish the thought, threatening to not jump into the only authentic conflict available to us at the moment because our President is a pansy.
We can fertilize our libidos with unrequited cataclysms as much as we want, and these are always great fun, but let’s be candid, who amongst us believes that global warming can long maintain our fascinations? Not me that’s for damn sure.
We are Americans, and we need something consequential. I am ready to put Canada on the dartboard. Who is with me?
invade canada

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