The Cat that tried to Kill My Mother
by Regis Boff
I gave my mother a cat in hopes of raising her delicate spirit after her mild stroke. I adopted it out of the hard knocks school of a rescue shelter. She glowed over it.
Consistent with every cat’s nature, this impure beast plotted against her tirelessly from the start. When she slept innocently in a hammock under a shade tree, the tabby would perch itself on a limb directly above her considering her with it’s lifeless eyes.
If you have observed these despicable beasts, you have witnessed them intentionally scaring themselves. What dark terror, the animal concocts is anyone’s guess, but occasionally and without warning, they will leap a foot into the air as though a rooster’s beak has broken off in its ass.
This particular cat willfully induced a suicidal heart attack by scaring itself while on that limb above my sleeping mother one afternoon. The dead-dropping cat body was aimed, like a dying hateful wish, to land square in her lap.
My mother awoke when the carcass drove the breath out of her. She eventually stopped screaming and recovered.