Rock Accountant

I told my wife

I told my wife tonight the only thing I ever bought just to look at was her. she bought me dinner

Hooray for Climate Change

Who doesn’t anticipate exciting weather? I have quantifiable better days when I know a rain or snowstorm is approaching. Others are buoyed by a stint of clear, hot sunny days and still others can’t wait for winter so there is little need to show one’s body to others.
Subconsciously we are delighting in this climate change hoax. It keeps us glued to our TVs in hopes that some early warning message will run in red at the bottom of the screen predicting the best places to live 800 years from now when the planet becomes finally uninhabitable. All I can say is, “Me too.”
Like any good mass hysteria it affords us opportunities to ground down our neighbors for their failure to believe what they are told. Nearly every day some dumbass football player will twitter something that denies our barometric belief systems and he will be promptly be suspended for two games and sent to consciousness reforming counseling.
We are apes regularly traumatized by bananas falling on our heads and we are still loving every minute of it.
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