My Second Arrest

by Regis Boff

My second arrest came at a border crossing by the Toronto police for drugs while working for a band. I have never done a single drug. I did, at that time, however, own a beautiful hand carved Meerschaum Pipe in the shape of a woman’s head. It had been a gift from another artist, so it was sentimentally valuable for me as well as being worth a fortune. Apparently, the hashish residue, I contended hysterically, dated back to that indulgent, fucking out of control Victorian era from which it came.
My case got further complicated by another one of us ( from the band) equally arrested in an adjoining cell to mine.
Well, this shit carried on for hours, and I was scared.
We eventually got sprung. My guess is because we had a long tour booked, and these cops were prereading the headlines, ” Shithead Police Disappoint Thousands of Fans.”
The guy who had interrogated me walked over to me as I was leaving. He had my pipe in his hand. With no gloat in my heart, I reached out to take it from him. He lifted it inches from my face, snapped it in half, and threw it into the corner of the room.