Unnoticed in Clever Worlds

The clearest description I have managed so far about my blog is that it is not about cats. In general, I find predators pretty predictable while prey on the other-hand, because they live in universes of anxiety, develop more textured personalities. I also have as a writer a deft hand when it comes to making matters worse, so of course , the already panicky are ready made for me. I will try to grow this blog into an assortment of laughs, because that is what my life has mostly taught me to do. I will use the famous people I have known to get your attention and then tell you small but many times wonderful things about them. I will never name the ones I say ugly things about but I hope you will guess who they are.

Month: April, 2018

I Live in Irvington NY

The thing about a circle is that until it collides with its beginning, it appears like it is going someplace.
We calculated twenty odd years ago that our children would be better off in a place like Nebraska. They could shuffle about in rags with rods of hay dangling from their little mouths instead of growing up in Manhatten wearing ankle monitors. Our crises would morph into navigating ” bad signs” like our oldest blurting out swear words similar to “Oh Shucks” after our worthless hound dog stole his ice cream cone. That’s when we found Irvington, NY.
We are all party to this conceit no matter how our money muddies the fantasy. I endorse the mannerisms of modesty over all other affectations though it is a hurdle to pull off when I ride in my snowblower or buy that donated used Van Gogh at the school auction.
Fortunately, kids are like flowers. They seem to thrive no matter how expensive the soil you put them in.
We are closing our circle now; our kids have grown, and we watch steady streams of new illusion seekers arrive in their BMW station wagons and their penchants for even more strict safety signs.
I suppose if I was a man of reflection I might get bogged down in the oddity of my mimicking a life beneath my circumstance. But in the end, I would prefer to be a hypocrite in Irvington than anywhere else, including Shangri-La, Nebraska.

Author Unknown

Emily Yoshida: “Who is Angelina Jolie, Mama?” the 8-year-old child will ask with wide, wondering eyes as mother and daughter settle in for a Sunday matinee of Maleficent.
“Well, sweetie, long ago, there was a beautiful Hollywood princess in love with a handsome Hollywood prince. Together they escaped from the prince’s tyrannical wife, Jennifer of the Valley of Eternal Sighs, and rode off to the mythical realm of Africa, where they traveled through the countryside collecting children to take back to their beautiful castle by the sea. Meanwhile, Jennifer of the Valley of Eternal Sighs’s overwhelming sadness corrupted her soul, and she became a witch. She put a curse on the princess, placing her career in a seven-year slumber, which she would eventually wake from to find that she, too, had become a witch. And Jennifer used that time to Just Go With It and land endorsements with both Smartwater and Aveeno.”
“And what’s the moral of the story, Mama?”
“All princesses eventually become witches. And Aveeno’s Natural Shiitake Complex is a great, natural way to slow the aging process.” Author Unknown

What laughter can do

The child to touch is the one who never laughs.
The child to kiss is the one dreads it most.
The child to hug is the one
with their arms wrapped around themselves.
When they think they are alone.

Laughter is greater than love.
It is the first notice of a new spring.
Laughing together is a circle
that shuts you in
if you step into it.
Laughter is the sound pain listens for.

My Generation?

I have seen the best stoners of my generation weeping as they forget where they stashed their dope due to the sudden onset of Alzheimer’s. by Regis Boff

Innocent Cruelty

I would chase ants on my hands and knees, burning them with a large magnifying glass angled perfectly to the summer sun’s rays.
There is a cruelty in children that blends agreeably with innocence.

ant

Free-range Press

We maintain that our free press protects us from our government and we lurch to defend its independence, provided it agrees with us. Our biased media, like free-range chickens, seem to taste better to us, but we do not know why. Worse, we have stopped caring.

And We Are Forever

We are not significant.
We live and die.
Saying a few words.
Feeling a few things.
None lasts long.
But suddenly Mark Zuckerberg said,
“Let them be data!’
And so it was.
And we are forever.

Nailing the truth to trees

Very little convinces me of the essentiality of a free press. To my eye, it excels only in the exclusion of fact and the perpetuation of the establishment. Better to nail information to trees.

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Anonymous

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country,
and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country
but don’t really understand The New York Times.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the country,
if they could find the time, and wouldn’t have to leave Southern California to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s running
the country, and don’ t really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.

8. The New York Post is read by people who don’t care who is running the country
as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

9. The Chicago Tribune is read by people that are in prison and used to run the
state, and would like to do so again, as would their constituents who are
currently free on bail.

10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country,
but need the baseball scores.

11. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren’t sure if there is
a country, or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for.

12. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.

13. The Seattle Times is read by people who have recently caught a fish
and need something to wrap it in.

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