How I helped the Donald

by Regis Boff

President Trump hasn’t called me for a while. He explained he needed a solid head around what gift to bring to his Summit with Vladimir Putin coming up in July. He knows I would thoughtfully weigh Chief inquisitor Mueller’s feelings about too much chumminess with Putin against an appearance of cheapness. I offered that he should keep it simple, like a couple of large breasted whores /strippers. Curious, I asked him about his first instincts. ” Chicago” was all he said.