Unnoticed in Clever Worlds

The clearest description I have managed so far about my blog is that it is not about cats. In general, I find predators pretty predictable while prey on the other-hand, because they live in universes of anxiety, develop more textured personalities. I also have as a writer a deft hand when it comes to making matters worse, so of course , the already panicky are ready made for me. I will try to grow this blog into an assortment of laughs, because that is what my life has mostly taught me to do. I will use the famous people I have known to get your attention and then tell you small but many times wonderful things about them. I will never name the ones I say ugly things about but I hope you will guess who they are.

Month: March, 2019

Chasten Buttigieg

Just a note to the half of America living in hate and disappointment about President Trump. Here is your quick fix. Find a candidate with common sense to admit, that on many levels, Trump is doing a good job. Then explain that without bipartisan help important national matters will not be addressed by any candidate who doesn’t have the Democrat’s blessing. Follow that with a campaign that has more grace. This is the only way to win and to heal our country’s divide. Right now I see Chasten Buttigieg as the possible choice.

Guitar and chair

I began in the music business working for a singer named Melanie Safka. She took the stage with her guitar and a chair. I made sure the chair was there and exceptionally well centered. She was loved by her fans and her audience was as gentle as she. She played two or three thousand seat venues of which there are hundreds scattered across America because of some forgotten design.
When she played my hometown of Pittsburgh in a place named the Syria Mosque my family was proud and excited. I was a big shot.
She would invite the kids to come onto the stage to sit at her feet while she performed and they would stampede to get close to her chair.
I am big so I would mosey out onto the stage and sit behind her. Just to be on the safe side.
Right in the front row was a big burly Italian guy who was a guard on the football team I played on in high school. He was singing right along.

Author Unknown

What if World War 1 was a bar fight by Author unknown

Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria’s pint.
Austria demands Serbia buy it a whole new suit because of the new beer stains on its trouser leg.
Germany expresses its support for Austria’s point of view.
Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.
Serbia points out that it can’t afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria’s trousers.
Russia and Serbia look at Austria.
Austria asks Serbia who it’s looking at.
Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone.
Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in doing so.
Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that its sufficiently out of order that Britain not intervene.
Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it?
Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action anymore.
Britain and France ask Germany whether it’s looking at Belgium.
Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone.
Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium.
France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other.
Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it’s on Britain’s side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria.
Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it.
France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change.
Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting.
America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself.

PUBLISHED: March 26, 2017
FILED UNDER: Unnoticed in Clever Worlds

Real Lives Matter

Ever notice that the only “type” of a person not bitching and complaining about what terrible things America did to them are the same people we are building walls to stop? Let the Democrats handle unlimited migrations. Republicans are more like the illegals living here now. They have real lives.

The framers of our constitution understood that mutual contempt is a prime component of elective Democracy.

For want of more surprising wisdom, I would only suggest that a cure for death will benefit no one.

I guess I got them all

I killed them in my basement as a child.

They hadn’t done something wrong

that I could name.

Except be on TV.

I guess I got them all.

Cause I rarely see them anymore.

Satchels of Silence

Men carry silence
in satchels
filled with oaths,
weaved loosely
from malice and murder.
All we are certain of
is that we have forgotten
why.

PUBLISHED: November 29, 2016

FILED UNDER: Unnoticed in Clever Worlds

Roadside Diner

Caught a glimpse of a pretty good sized deer lying dead on the side of the West Side Highway, hit by a car. It was being struggled off and onto the grass by a man using both his hands to manage its weight. He had a machete clenched in his teeth.

PUBLISHED: September 26, 2012

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