Unnoticed in Clever Worlds

The clearest description I have managed so far about my blog is that it is not about cats. In general, I find predators pretty predictable while prey on the other-hand, because they live in universes of anxiety, develop more textured personalities. I also have as a writer a deft hand when it comes to making matters worse, so of course , the already panicky are ready made for me. I will try to grow this blog into an assortment of laughs, because that is what my life has mostly taught me to do. I will use the famous people I have known to get your attention and then tell you small but many times wonderful things about them. I will never name the ones I say ugly things about but I hope you will guess who they are.

Month: May, 2019

Lucky are Us

I believe history will show that Trump was a better President and that Obama was a better man, and that we were favored to have had both for a little while.

Go ahead and nail it

If you want to wreck Barack Obama’s legacy finally, a project started by Hillary Clinton, go ahead and nominate Joe Biden.

I have come to God

The first obligation of those blessed with religious faith is to mind their own fucking business.

The Finest Women

The finest women of my generation would be heading down to Alabama to confront this abortion shit, not sitting around trying to parse another female savior or fretting about getting pinched on the ass a decade ago.

Brother, can you spare a Rhyme?

Poems
are
literature’s
breadline.

PUBLISHED: May 26, 2017
FILED UNDER: Unnoticed in Clever Worlds

Keith Moon and my Mother were in love

Keith insisted the two of them had a connection.
It was awkward. The woman was my mother.
She was beautiful by any standard.
Moon started to sexualize her soon after I showed him a photograph snapped of my mother in a flowered smock, the ordinary, shapeless, tent of a day dress popularized in the fifties. It was my second North American tour with the Who. I had settled in.
It did not seem to matter to him that she was now eighty-five. Of course, that says something easily predictable about him.
Ridiculously, this did not counterbalance my discomfort. I am not anybody’s definition of a prude. I have done and seen too much, but this was my mother he was wanting.
He was smitten with her in that shy British way. He would talk to the photo like he would to prostitutes. As if he might be successful provided he played his cards just right.
He would bring mother up to me out of nowhere, regularly wanting to see the picture. The trajectory of my mother’s life and death were, looking back on it now, much the same as his, inevitable and sad. She wasn’t much nailed down either.
I saw them as hapless geese plowing deliberately into the propellers of an aircraft​ taking​ off from God’s airport. Neither the plane nor their shared psychosis was willing to alter course. They had no chance.
I loved them both. My mother more. Their broken feathers scattered all around me. Moon’s drifted over everyone.
She died conveniently between tours.
He did not often mention her after that, except to question whether I was any closer to locating a dress like the one in the photo.
Of course, in his size.

PUBLISHED: May 23, 2018
FILED UNDER: Unnoticed in Clever Worlds

Teaching Rock Stars Math

Between shows, much of my time with The Who was spent reviewing each artist on their multiplication tables.

The Buddha Needs a Burger

The Buddha needed a burger.
He felt bad for wanting it, what with his having rejected the physical universe and all, but he was always the kid who ate when he was sad.
It was the run-in with that skinny little girl. She pointed at him in front of everyone during his levitation and screeched, “Momma, why is the Gautama Buddha so fat?
The teacher said “it is bad to be fat.”
“Fat, she thinks I’m fat?” he said, to his mind’s eye which was orbiting Neptune.
He cracked his flawless eyelids, and peeked at his huge stomach. As wisdom follows knowledge and perception displaces misery, he got hungry.
Reaching under his robe for ketchup, He drifted, with a big smile, back into Enlightenment.

PUBLISHED: May 19, 2017
FILED UNDER: Unnoticed in Clever Worlds

Truth comes in whiffs

Men 0, Women 1.

I think God’s only tricky decision was just how to assemble women differently from men. It was here He found his masterstroke. He gave them birth. Regis Boff

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