Why we wipe our asses

by Regis Boff

I read an anthropology book in college called “The Territorial Imperative.” It put forth reasoning on why some people are left-handed and others right-handed. Early man generally was nomadic, and when they encountered a new tribe, it became common to raise one hand in greeting. The choice of which side you lifted was governed by which hand you did not use to wipe your ass. I always thought this was reasonable for sure, and undoubtedly dependable grounds for wiping out the other tribe.