The Entire History of Music

by Regis Boff

It bears noting that horns were most likely humanity’s first real musical instruments. These surely doubled out as ant-eating utensils and primordial kazoos.
Blowing into hollow stuff with holes was early in our nature, or so it appears.
Academics who never find their entrance into the real music business have made arguments for the drummers being first.
That would have, however, made the first road bands culpable for both cadence and the chasing out of snakes and prehistoric bears from the mouth of the cave venue. This double responsibility would have made insurance rates skyrocket. Back then, remember, everything was an “Act of God,” so that kind of contractual shelter would never have occurred to the their lawyers.
Of course, these early trumpets languished in their simplicity, not contributing much to music despite their fast start. It wasn’t until black people invented the sax 12000 years later that shit got cooking, ( of course, all wind instruments did receive a kick up the ass when we humans stopped eating ants.)

The piano stool is humankind’s most modern music invention. But that is it’s own chapter. Keith Moon, who spent much of his time gaffer taped to his, once quipped, “no stool, no art.”