by Regis Boff
Only gay men can be kind and talented. Heterosexual men can be either one or the other, but never at the same time.
Young girls always enter a clumsy period of ambiguity regarding themselves. This is triggered because they are all attractive for a while. It holds them back. But it is fun and sells cosmetics.
Beauty loses interest in itself after children or more than two husbands. Lesbianism is the obvious sensible choice for most after these events.
Men scarcely communicate unless the subject is vast, like the universe or the Pittsburgh Steelers.
Women have no big themes. They are not philosophers and never allow silence to invade their relationships. Just watch them during football games.
Lesbians generally are better at office football pools.
This fact has forever puzzled me because I know a very wise explanation is hidden somewhere just beyond my reach.