Rock Accountant

Tag: Concussions

The Oscars

I have decided to boycott the Oscars unless the concussion film wins for best picture. I come from a generation of athletes who were presumed, accurately, to be profoundly stupid. But this movie made me understand that the athletes of today relinquish their potential careers in academia to play football for us.
I think to myself, ” Is the specter of the Syrian refugee crisis, even a tragedy compared to the horror of ex-football stars bumping around the walls of their thirty-two million dollar mansions, forgetting which is the guest or master bedrooms?” I think not.


I find myself on the wrong side of everything. I refused to go to that concussion movie because I felt it might eventually interfere with the violence in professional football. I mean, I watch it for the violence. Then I hear that the wife of the star of the movie is all pissed off that her husband didn’t get nominated, and she is trying to get Chris Rock to pull out of being the host. I was only going to watch the Oscars because of Chris Rock. My day is proceeding darkly.

I Hope All The Kale in The World dies

I am seismically undisturbed by professional athletes getting concussions. It is the price of doing business. My business.
Nobody gives a shit about these brain shakeups save a trashcan of ravenous lawyers and plantation NFL owners.

Football players are almost by definition profoundly stupid. Even if uninjured it is a miracle they can find their huddle on a good day.
It is a job. Do I care if my electrician fries himself in my living room while trying to reconnect my TV? Not one fucking bit.

I know who is to blame for this national assembly of empathy for my pituitary heroes. It’s the kale crowd and their delusions about living a safe and healthy life.
My generation was more productive dropping LSD after breakfast every day than these hollow vessels spending meals tastelessly broadening the respirator time at the end of their significantly uneventful lives.
If Big Ben Rothenburg does not play in the Steelers game, I hope all the kale in the world dies.
I feel better now.

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